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You probably expected to see a headline “Kigali excites Wang,” what with all the myths of top-drawer beauties floating in Rwanda like the water hyacinth on Lake Victoria. For the record, Kigali is not awash with the Naomi Campbells and Cindy Crawfords of this world. In fact, I get the impression that all the cute Banyarwanda girls are right here in Kampala. OK, there are a few eye-catching “Nyaru” chics in Kigali, if you know where to look. But they are not any more than you find in Kampala.
So how did Wang end up being the best thing that ever happened to Kigali? I really didn’t have to do anything; the Rwandese had already done everything for me. You see, Rwanda is – surprise, surprise – the most conservative African country I have been to. The people are not loud, the dresses are too long and loose to arouse the proverbial interest, and don’t even think about ekimansulo of any form. So when I pulled on my sleeveless shirt, rolled down my windows, rolled back the sunroof and pumped up the volume, I instantly became an object of wonder.The rather strict police stopped me a couple of times – and they don’t take bribes – and asked me to turn down the Noise? Is that what they call crisp stereo and pounding bass in Rwanda? Anyway, I would oblige, only to rev up the decibels as soon as I was out of view. Thank God when they were drawing up their traffic rules, they didn’t anticipate that a one Wang from Uganda would one day pay them a visit. I love the Banyarwanda though. The thing I love about them is their carefree-go-hang attitude. Not too much pretence, like you see around here (I know a fellow in Kampala who collects designer labels from discarded clothes and sticks them onto his cheap made-in-Indonesia collection). No attempt to impress, no wannabes. If you don’t like my Gisenyi accent, my mother’s union outfit or the smell of gee, you can go stick it elsewhere. It is as simple as that. Consider this. The new five-star Intercontinental Hotel (it is better than Sheraton) is right next to one of the national universities – Kigali Institute of Science and Technology. But you never find any students there. They cannot afford it, so they don’t go there. In Uganda, you can only put up a hotel next to Makerere University, for example, if you want to know the colours of trouble. Or you are crazy. And no, I don’t have a Nyaru girlfriend. Not yet anyway.
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