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The News: Uganda's Parliament has
delayed deployment of Ugandan troops to Somalia as peace keepers
The spin:
Mogadishu, February: Somali
women have condemned the Ugandan Parliament for stalling the
deployment of the UPDF to their war-torn country.
In a statement faxed to The Analyst
on the weekend, the Somali women accused the Ugandan legislators of
harbouring “'nugu' against Somali women and UPDF men.”
“Since the UPDF left [the Democratic
Republic of] Congo, we have been praying that they invade our country
next. Just when we thought Allah and the African Union had answered
our prayers, the selfish Ugandan MPs throw a spanner in the works,”
the statement, written in Arabic, said.
The UPDF returned to Uganda after their
“mission” in the DR Congo with an army of happy Congolese women
as wives. Many of the soldiers already had wives in Uganda. The army
had denied the Congolese women transport to Uganda, but they
threatened to walk all the way rather than be left behind by their
beloved and extremely sexy Ugandan men.
“Our Congolese sisters have confided
in us that the Ugandan soldiers are good marksmen, both on and off
the battlefield. These are precisely the kind of men we need,” the
Somali women said.
A man claiming to be a UPDF soldier
told The Analyst that he was itching to go to Somalia “and
you can bet my eagerness has nothing to do with the ruthless Somali
warlords”. He said that from what he had seen in the pictures,
Somali women appear to be even more beautiful than the Congolese.
It is not clear why the MPs are
reluctant to approve the Somali mission, which is mandated by the
African Union and the United Nations. But sources say that the wives
of the Ugandan soldiers have been lobbying the MPs not to allow their
husbands to go to Somalia.
The women, according to the sources,
claim that they fear for the lives of their husbands. The Somali
women, however, said in their statement that they suspect Ugandan
women of being hostile to the mission because “they are not as
beautiful as ourselves, and Ugandan soldiers know a good thing when
they see it”.
An MP who is opposed to the deployment
told The Analyst that his concern is that there is no timber,
gold and diamonds in Somalia, unlike in DR Congo.
“Show me the timber and I will give
the mission a go-ahead immediately,” he said.
Meanwhile, troops from Nigeria, who are
part of the African Union peacekeeping mission, are said to be hoping
that the Ugandans don’t make it to Somalia to “spoil the party”
for them.
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