The News: The President of the World Bank, Paul Wolfowitz, has resigned following allegation of impropriety.  

The spin: 

Sanjaville, May: The President of the Kisanja People’s Banana Republic, Yahweh Mbaguta, has written to President George Bush of the United States offering him a “dyed in the wool wolf” for appointment as president of the World Bank.

In his letter which The Analyst has not seen, the self-styled bushman said he has a whole bunch of wolves who would perfectly fit in the big sheep’s skin vacated by Mr. Paul Wolfowitz, the outgoing president of the World Bank.

The former U.S. Deputy Defence Secretary, who is credited with orchestrating the disastrous invasion of Iraq, was shot down as president of the World Bank after he arranged a hefty pay raise for his girlfriend in apparent breach of the Bank’s rules.

Despite the obvious conflict of interest, the White House stood firmly behind Wolfowitz, describing him as “a good man” who had not done anything wrong.

In countries not led by Bush and bushmen, such an act would be considered outright corruption, a fact that was not lost on Gen. Mbaguta.

“Only we the bush people understand that small things like sticking 60,000 dollars in your girlfriend’s bra or taking an 800,000 dollar kickback on junk helicopters should not divert us from our political mission to defeat terrorists, whether they are in Iraq, at the World Bank or in the Ministry of Health,” wrote Gen. Mbaguta, who spent five years in the bush fighting “terrorists” to capture power.

He said that in the 20 years he has been in power, he has bred “wolves and hawks” of Wolfowitz’s calibre, quite capable of taking over at the World Bank.

“Wherever I have deployed my wolves, they have not disappointed. Ask the Democratic Republic of Congo, ask the Global Fund, ask the Global Alliance for Vaccines and Immunisation,” bushman Mbaguta wrote. “We all know that the World Bank is the biggest chicken house; so you want the best wolf to be in charge.

That wolf, I can supply.” By the time we went to press, President Bush had not replied to Mbaguta. Indeed, it is not certain the offer had already arrived in his mailbox.

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